just came back from my appointment about the surgery... well... i can choose to do it or not... but it is best to do it... that's what my parents & doctor says... but i really don't have the intention to do it... i know the scar is ugly but..... i don't know.. my foot has already been through 2 operations.. going for a third one? i have no idea.. though my movements won't be affected that much, but it will still take another year for it to heal.. but not really 100% all the scars will disappear..... well... i really don't know how to reject my parents... maybe i should go for it... another thing is about my sister again.. well she was suppose to come back with us just now but her mood was affected by some strangers she found them irritating... therefore she went to find her friends & told us that she will come back later.. i know my mum's worried.. don't really know how to be an elder sister.. am i a useless sister? how i wish she will listen to us sometimes.. well everytime situations happen regarding my sister, i'll always deceive myself... but everytime, the more i try to deceive myself, the more i'm into it.. gosh... i think i'll never have a day not worried about her.. that's why i really don't like to go home sometimes... my parents are getting older.. i can see.. more sickness coming to them.. & also more strands of white hair.. never thought that they will grow old.. maybe it's just part of life.. i know i have to get use to it.. got to know that me always blur about life... no aims, no goals... in the past i have though not realistic... sigh... well... i think i'm a useless young adult guides too.. what my juniors ask me, all i know is to say 'i'm not sure' & 'i don't know'.. everytime must trouble sm.. i should go to hell man..