Wa............ lolx........ first day of my diet a bit cannot stand it le...... but i will survive!!!!!!!!! i believe i can......... can I? haha... tomorrow going to wake up at 6am to jog with my sister..... i HATE running... lolx... but i must have the determination........ i wanna slim down......... so sianz...... well... i really don't understand what i'm doing lately........ don't really know why i went back to guides...... to waste time? to learn things? actually i want to help but i don't have the ability... cos there's still alot that i didn't learn.........i'm still new......... maybe i made a wrong choice to go back....... i'm not halping at all.... not contributing..... i don't have experience in anything....... another thing is i really don't know what motivated me to slim down...... what was that 'force'? is it because of the person i like? or is it because of his criticism? the person i once loved... well i don't know....... or maybe because i'm doing this all because of myself......... haha........ really don't know....... my friend just borrowed $$ from me.... well my atm card is with my mum so i have to ask from my mum first...... but my mum seems not happy........ i borrowed her because i trust her that she will return....... & she is really in need of the $$... how can i not help her? but of cos i know how she spends her $$... hope she will learn how to control her $$.... well... i'm in need of $$ also... haha... i don't want to get from my parents..... cos i know their $$ is hard to earn..... if it's not neccessary or not urgent, i won't get from them...... trying to save up now..... yup....... well there's someone always wanting me to go have a dinner or lunch with him but i think it's quite weird..... cos i don't know what to say to him if we meet up... should i accept? but of cos if i'm free or not..... sigh......