well... everybody will find someone who will love him or her someday... & they will live happily ever after.. i think fairy tales sometimes aren't true.. well i should say most of the times it's not true.. we are living in reality... today god gave me another test... well..i am glad i don;t have any heart attacks... i don't understand why god likes to give me so many tests.. maybe it's because of the 'lie' yesterday i've made.. & god wants to punish me for my wrongdoings... but i think it's quite a big & scary punishment.. this morning when i woke up, my mum was sent to the tan tock seng hospital because she complained that her pulse is beating too fast... i was so worried though i acted like i'm very calm.. i feel like crying but i dare not.. i don't want to let my family worry.. luckily she is ok.. doctor gave her medicine.. maybe because she work too much.. i feel so heartbroken.. everytime see her work so hard for my family.. then everytime worry for my sister.. talking about her.. i told her not to come back so late today.. don't let my mum worry.. but she still not back yet.. i feel so stress out.. luckily tomorrow i'm going out with mad & ling.. if not i think i'll commit suicide soon.. i really very long never cry already.. everytime endure endure.. smile in front of people.. sometimes just feel so fake & tired.. really hope that someone can understand me.. care for me.. worry about me.. love me.. actually i have two already.. my parents.. but i think i'm doing so to them too.. but i don't think they understand me.. especially my dad.. can even mix up my name & my sis.. well.. i think my attitude towards my dad is getting worse.. cos i think it's not him supporting the family.. it's my mum.. better not talk about him.. but no matter what, he's still my dad.. God can you please don't put me to any more tests?! i think i have enough..